Tag: Hypnotherapy

  • Hypnotherapy and the secret to a happy and Lasting Relationship

    A couple in love

    Can hypnotherapy help you to have a happy and lasting relationship?

    When we are looking for a potential life partner, first impressions count.The way the person looks. How they dress. The way they talk. There are many factors that can influence what happens next.

    So, for whatever reasons, we either find ourselves becoming involved or we just walk away and let the search continue.

    The rest of this article will focus on whether our chosen person would be a wise choice for a potential life partner. And how, our ‘Core values’ play a crucial part towards long term happiness.

    The Honeymoon Period

    Experts say: the first six months to two years are the honeymoon period for most relationships. Here our partner cannot seem to do any wrong. Even the trivial things that, would for many be annoying, seem cute. You are both interested in each other… hobbies, choice of movies, music, and places you like to hang out. You both send loving and intimate messages to one another several times each day. You can’t quite get enough of each other.

    But, are we Really Compatible?

    Fast forward three years. Suddenly you realise you are arguing over everything from politics, to how children should be raised. You just don’t seem to be on the same page anymore.

    Moreover, intimacy slows down. You find you have less sex. You don’t text so much. Things seem to have become boring. At this point you may be thinking, is this the end? Well not necessary, all the above are common and doesn’t happen to everyone, but for many it does.

    This period can be a sign that you are coming to the ‘Make or break’ stage. You may be asking yourself questions such as, ‘Do we want the same things, do I want to live in this town. Are we both on the same page about whether to start a family sometime soon, or not?

    This is a time when communication is key, as to whether you can make it work, long term.

    Communicate

    If this period of the relationship is ignored, resentment may set in. In fact, there may already be resentment that has been lingering before now. This might have stemmed from unresolved past issues. If you find yourselves rehashing the same old arguments, then this may be the case. Now is the time to sit down and communicate about what has been causing problems between you and your partner.

    And if this doesn’t work? You could visit a therapist, either together or individually. A well-trained therapist can help you in many ways. If it’s just a case of poor communication this can improved and would ideally require you to visit a therapist together. Working together in therapy can be a powerful way of reconnecting and allows for personal growth. However, both partners need to agree to this.

    It’s Not What I Want

    Sometimes, one partner, or both may come to the realisation that they and their partner are not that compatible. As a result, there may be much inner conflict and anxiety surrounding the longevity of the relationship.

    So, how do you know whether your partner is right for you?

    Well, the short answer is, you must share the same core values. Core values are what makes the partnership feel right. They include Whether or not to have children, parenting styles, personal lifestyle, where to live, and religious or spiritual beliefs.

    Most of the above are difficult to reconcile.

    Smaller values, such as what food to eat, what movies to watch or what colour to paint the bedroom make for a much easier compromise.

    The Power of Core Values

    Core values on the other hand are what makes couples move forward together. If two people desire a child, they will be motivated to make the necessary plans to make that happen. If two people want to live close to the sea, they will enthusiastically view places by the ocean. And so on…

    One way of knowing whether your partner is right for is to imagine your perfect future, are they included? If your imagined future doesn’t involve your partner in any way, that might tell you something.

    So, if you and your significant other do not share the same major life goals, such as whether to have children or where you want to live, it might be time for that difficult conversation.

    So Where does Hypnotherapy fit in?

    Sometimes people need help. Being stuck in a relationship that doesn’t feel right, is painful and can create much anxiety. A qualified hypnotherapist can help a client become more self – aware. Moreover, a therapist using hypnosis can help the person build their self -confidence. This gives the client the personal power to make the desired changes in their life.

    If you could choose just two resources to help you move on from an unfulfilling relationship it would have to be ‘Self -Awareness and self – confidence’ Self -awareness gives you the illumination to truly know what it is, you want and need. Confidence gives you the power to act on it.

    Hypnotherapy can help you to connect with these inner strengths. When you make important decisions out of  awareness you make authentic decisions. Being authentic is key to living a happy and full life. When you are authentic in how you choose to live your life, you become more comfortable and relaxed. You become more fully yourself.

    Let’s summarize:

    Relationships are complex. We don’t always know from the start of a new relationship whether it will work out long term. We sometimes must go through all the fun stuff and all the highs of the honeymoon period before we get to the reality of how things really are. At this point, we either must work at cultivating our partnership to create balance and harmony. Or be prepared to walk away. Here we find ourselves in a position where we must make a difficult decision. Sometimes we need help and support in doing this.

    Hypnosis and psychotherapy can help bridge the gap between truly knowing and having the confidence to move on to a life that brings happiness and fulfilment.

    So, remember, aligned core values are important for a long, happy and lasting relationship.

    Until next time!

  • What’s in a Label? – a Radically New Approach to Dealing with Mental Health!

    Image of label

    Labels are powerful. They Influence many areas of our lives, including our mental health.

    When we think of labels most people think of designer or job titles and labels that suggest prestige or success. However, here we are talking about a quite different type of label. A label that has the potential to take away an individual’s power.

    Sadly, most of us know someone who has been diagnosed with some form of mental illness. This may not necessary be what we perceive as a serious life-threatening condition. It is usually something more common such as ‘Depression or anxiety’. Although certainly not to be taken lightly these are mental health issues that have become commonplace in recent years.

    It’s all about Perspective

    From one perspective, being able to label a health problem or condition is useful. It helps the psychiatrist or psychologist to diagnose the presenting issue. And this can also give the patient some peace of mind. The patient knows what the problem is and gives a sense of acceptance or meaning, for a while anyway.

    From a different view point it, also in a sense, takes the power away from the patient. In other words, ‘If I have been diagnosed with depression, it’s not my fault that I struggle to go to work’. Or ‘Because I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder’ it makes sense that I will never feel comfortable in social settings.’ There are, of course, many examples that could fit within this framework.

    Moreover, we are increasingly witnessing this with children. Labels such as ‘Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder’ or ADHD as it is commonly known. And one concerning factor is that, in some cases, it’s the parents that make the decision that that’s what their child must be struggling with, partly because this condition is becoming increasingly common. As a result, so too is the label. This, along with the influence of the internet has become a breeding ground for people looking to label their issue. And this is understandable, it’s natural to search for an explanation for our pains.

    The Power Threat Meaning Framework

    The ‘Power Threat Meaning Framework’ is a welcome change in thinking in how professionals are beginning to approach mental health.

    Hers’s how it works…

    Rather than asking the question ‘what’s wrong with you’. This new approach asks, ‘What’s happened to you?’ It has been discovered that by focusing on the patient’s history, information can reveal what has happened to the patient that may have contributed to their presenting mental health problem. This puts the person in a much more resourceful position.

    There is currently work going on today towards helping patients, or clients to  become more resourceful. To be labelled ‘Clinically depressed’ is not very empowering. To some people they could receive the message as: ‘I have clinical depression’ so I’ll have to take medication for the rest of my life, I’ll just have to get used to it’. This, instead of helping the client or patient to become more resourceful, it takes away their personal power.

    The Conclusion

    So, ‘The Power threat Meaning Framework’ is a new concept that is positioned to helping patients/clients to become more resourceful and in a better position to take control of their mental health. It allows people to realise they are not just a label. There are options in how to respond. We could  look at how we can change our lifestyle or hear how others got free from the same problem. We are real people with choices and the freedom to look at our lives through a different lens if we choose to.

    Labels are useful, of course. We need to have some reference point to what is going on in our body and mind. And in addition, we shouldn’t have to surrender our own inner resources and limit ourselves to other viable options. We as adults have a responsibility to ourselves to explore more about how our problems are created and what role we can play in becoming whole and healthy again. One way of looking at a health problem is to view it as part of our life’s journey.

    Moreover, ‘The power threat meaning framework’ may just be one positive shift in thinking that we all need.

    If you would like to learn more, click here…https://www.amazon.co.uk/Straight-Talking-Introduction-Meaning-Framework/dp/1910919713/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3JOTF5NUQLGUK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8ZnW07XaO7FayLEQsbVO7z_gkGqjVd

    Until next time!

  • The Secrets to making Hypnotherapy work for You

    The Secrets to making Hypnotherapy work for You

    Continue reading…

    Many people , when searching for hypnotherapy in Wokingham want results, fast! This, of course, is natural. Most of us don’t have the time, or the money to invest in many hours of therapy. And why should we — ‘Life is short’.

    What I love about this work is watching people make positive changes, quickly, in their lives. We are not necessary talking about one, or two sessions here, although this certainly happens. We are talking, four, five, or even six sessions, but this is still considered, ‘Brief therapy’.

    Moreover, I personally love doing single session therapy. This is a process that normally takes a couple of hours. It’s powerful. Although, for some issues, more sessions are needed. But, compared to traditional psychotherapy and counselling, hypnotherapy is still a brief form of therapy.

    Now, getting back to the secret of ‘What makes it successful’.

    Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, the Secrets

    Most contemporary hypnotherapy is ‘Solution – focused’ orientated. This is how I work too. It’s powerful and it works. However, there is more to it…

    …In the past few years, increasing evidence point to what makes talking therapy successful.

    The answer really is simple. Let me give you a brief overview.

    Psychologist and psychotherapist Carl Rogers created ‘Person Centered Counselling’, back in the early 1940’s. It’s based on ‘Three core conditions, ‘Empathy, Congruence and Unconditional Positive Regard’. Rogers believed that when these three conditions are present, therapeutic  change would, over time, naturally occur. As the years have passed Roger’s findings have proven to be true, especially when combined with other models of psychotherapy and this includes hypnotherapy.

    Let me explain…

    Positive  Changes with Hypnotherapy

     Everyone would do better in therapy if they were understood. In other words, if the therapist could ‘step into the client’s shoes and understand them. ‘This is empathy’.

    And, from another perspective, no-one wants to feel like they are being judged by their therapist. The person wants to be accepted for who they are. This is ‘Unconditional Positive Regard’.

    In addition, no client wants, or needs a therapist who is a fake and not genuine. The therapist needs to be authentic. In other words, ‘Being congruent’.

    Without any of the above being present, it would be like trying to build a house on shaky foundations.

    The above may seem obvious, but it isn’t always how it is.

    So, therapists with a ‘Solution – Focussed hypnotherapy orientation’ are a good thing. Moreover, being ‘Person Centred’ is even better. It’s the foundation of every healthy therapeutic relationship.

    Furthermore, before choosing your therapist make a few calls. If possible, arrange a free consultation. Ask questions. ‘How long have they been in practice? What is their approach to hypnotherapy?

    Ask yourself, ‘Do I feel I can trust this person?’

    Hypnotherapy Testimonials

    Testimonials are powerful. They help both therapist and client. Testimonials help clients decide on what hypnotherapist to use. They also help the therapist get more business. There is, of course, nothing wrong with this. People want an experienced therapist who can help them, and the therapist needs to make a living.

    However, unfortunately, not all testimonials are authentic. They are, sometimes created to help a business get started, or worse, they are plain deceitful, created with the intention of helping people part with their hard-earned cash! ‘This problem has worsened over the years, mainly because of the growth of the internet.’ And as most people would agree, this is unethical. As a result of this, at least one main psychotherapy organisation now forbid the use of testimonials. They class them as unethical. I understand this and I agree with this philosophy, up to a point.

    Psychotherapy, including hypnotherapy in Wokingham, involves a high degree of privacy. Asking a client to write a testimonial and put their name to it is putting the client in a difficult position. They may feel that they can’t say no, so they agree. Some may be fine with this, but others may end up having future regrets about agreeing to it.

     Of course, most ‘Talking therapy’ testimonials are real. Well trained, ethical therapists would only use legitimate reviews. However, there are convincing arguments for whether they are ethical, or not.

    To Summarise:

    The main point here is, when choosing a hypnotherapist don’t rely on testimonials alone. There are several factors to consider: Talk to the therapist before deciding. Ask about their training and experience. What governing body, or bodies do they belong to? Are they ‘Person centred? And most important of all, do you feel comfortable that you can trust them to collaborate with you on your presenting problem. Different therapists are suited to different clients.

    Choosing the right therapist is a serious business. It’s an investment in yourself. So, choose wisely.

    Until next time.