Category: Uncategorized

  • Hypnotherapy and the secret to a happy and Lasting Relationship

    A couple in love

    Can hypnotherapy help you to have a happy and lasting relationship?

    When we are looking for a potential life partner, first impressions count.The way the person looks. How they dress. The way they talk. There are many factors that can influence what happens next.

    So, for whatever reasons, we either find ourselves becoming involved or we just walk away and let the search continue.

    The rest of this article will focus on whether our chosen person would be a wise choice for a potential life partner. And how, our ‘Core values’ play a crucial part towards long term happiness.

    The Honeymoon Period

    Experts say: the first six months to two years are the honeymoon period for most relationships. Here our partner cannot seem to do any wrong. Even the trivial things that, would for many be annoying, seem cute. You are both interested in each other… hobbies, choice of movies, music, and places you like to hang out. You both send loving and intimate messages to one another several times each day. You can’t quite get enough of each other.

    But, are we Really Compatible?

    Fast forward three years. Suddenly you realise you are arguing over everything from politics, to how children should be raised. You just don’t seem to be on the same page anymore.

    Moreover, intimacy slows down. You find you have less sex. You don’t text so much. Things seem to have become boring. At this point you may be thinking, is this the end? Well not necessary, all the above are common and doesn’t happen to everyone, but for many it does.

    This period can be a sign that you are coming to the ‘Make or break’ stage. You may be asking yourself questions such as, ‘Do we want the same things, do I want to live in this town. Are we both on the same page about whether to start a family sometime soon, or not?

    This is a time when communication is key, as to whether you can make it work, long term.

    Communicate

    If this period of the relationship is ignored, resentment may set in. In fact, there may already be resentment that has been lingering before now. This might have stemmed from unresolved past issues. If you find yourselves rehashing the same old arguments, then this may be the case. Now is the time to sit down and communicate about what has been causing problems between you and your partner.

    And if this doesn’t work? You could visit a therapist, either together or individually. A well-trained therapist can help you in many ways. If it’s just a case of poor communication this can improved and would ideally require you to visit a therapist together. Working together in therapy can be a powerful way of reconnecting and allows for personal growth. However, both partners need to agree to this.

    It’s Not What I Want

    Sometimes, one partner, or both may come to the realisation that they and their partner are not that compatible. As a result, there may be much inner conflict and anxiety surrounding the longevity of the relationship.

    So, how do you know whether your partner is right for you?

    Well, the short answer is, you must share the same core values. Core values are what makes the partnership feel right. They include Whether or not to have children, parenting styles, personal lifestyle, where to live, and religious or spiritual beliefs.

    Most of the above are difficult to reconcile.

    Smaller values, such as what food to eat, what movies to watch or what colour to paint the bedroom make for a much easier compromise.

    The Power of Core Values

    Core values on the other hand are what makes couples move forward together. If two people desire a child, they will be motivated to make the necessary plans to make that happen. If two people want to live close to the sea, they will enthusiastically view places by the ocean. And so on…

    One way of knowing whether your partner is right for is to imagine your perfect future, are they included? If your imagined future doesn’t involve your partner in any way, that might tell you something.

    So, if you and your significant other do not share the same major life goals, such as whether to have children or where you want to live, it might be time for that difficult conversation.

    So Where does Hypnotherapy fit in?

    Sometimes people need help. Being stuck in a relationship that doesn’t feel right, is painful and can create much anxiety. A qualified hypnotherapist can help a client become more self – aware. Moreover, a therapist using hypnosis can help the person build their self -confidence. This gives the client the personal power to make the desired changes in their life.

    If you could choose just two resources to help you move on from an unfulfilling relationship it would have to be ‘Self -Awareness and self – confidence’ Self -awareness gives you the illumination to truly know what it is, you want and need. Confidence gives you the power to act on it.

    Hypnotherapy can help you to connect with these inner strengths. When you make important decisions out of  awareness you make authentic decisions. Being authentic is key to living a happy and full life. When you are authentic in how you choose to live your life, you become more comfortable and relaxed. You become more fully yourself.

    Let’s summarize:

    Relationships are complex. We don’t always know from the start of a new relationship whether it will work out long term. We sometimes must go through all the fun stuff and all the highs of the honeymoon period before we get to the reality of how things really are. At this point, we either must work at cultivating our partnership to create balance and harmony. Or be prepared to walk away. Here we find ourselves in a position where we must make a difficult decision. Sometimes we need help and support in doing this.

    Hypnosis and psychotherapy can help bridge the gap between truly knowing and having the confidence to move on to a life that brings happiness and fulfilment.

    So, remember, aligned core values are important for a long, happy and lasting relationship.

    Until next time!

  • Anxiety and it’s Nature

    Computer despair

    Let’s take a brief look at the meaning of anxiety, through the lens of a hypnotherapist. Anxiety is different from fear. When we fear something, we usually know what it is we fear. It is normally directed at a definite external object or situation…fear of not being able to pay a bill, being rejected by a loved one, or being made redundant from work.

     Events that we fear are usually tangible. It lies within the realms of possibility. Fear also comes with a rush of adrenaline, along with thoughts and images of immediate danger. Anxiety, on the other hand, may present without full awareness of where it might be coming from, or indeed what it means.

    Anxiety is more internal

    Moreover, anxiety tends to be more internal, rather than external. There may a vague feeling of danger that is not recognised consciously. It may be likened to a feeling of losing control. This could be linked to losing control of yourself or a situation. There is a feeling that something bad is going to happen. It is different from fear.

    In addition, anxiety develops along with various levels of intensity. It can feel like a subtle feeling of uneasiness and in some cases may increase to a full-blown panic attack, including tightness in the chest, heart palpitations, dizziness, and sweating, along with feelings of dread.

    However, not all anxiety is out of conscious awareness. It can be brought on by simply thinking about something in the future. When we anticipate a situation that we are worried about, this can bring on feelings of panic. Though overall, it tends to be more ambiguous than fear.

    The hidden meaning of anxiety

    Anxiety is part of who we are. It can also be a blessing. You have, I’m sure, had the experience of being stuck in a situation. This could be related to your professional life or even a romantic relationship. You become conflicted… ‘should I stay or should I go’. This then develops into an inner conflict. We feel trapped. This anxiety builds until we can no longer ignore it. It’s like a part of us that is screaming out ‘Make a choice, pick a direction and move forward.’ This, of course, in many cases, is easier said than done. However, if we continue to ignore our inner voice tension builds.

    Another difference between fear and anxiety is that fear is usually short lived.

    Anxiety vs Fear

    Imagine you are on your way to a dentist appointment. As you walk you notice an acquaintance walking towards you on the other side of the road.

    You glance across and smile, but the person just carries on walking without any acknowledgement of you at all, even though they saw you, or so you thought. So, you continue walking to your appointment with that gnawing feeling about why the person had not acknowledged you in any way.

    Anxiety Festers away at you

    As you approach the dentist, suddenly, an intense fear sweeps through you. You realise you are in for a very painful and uncomfortable twenty minutes. However, within ten minutes the fear subsides as you relax and accept that the discomfort will soon pass, but that uncomfortable feeling from earlier still festers within, along with negative self-talk about why that person ignored you.

    So, fear although intense, is usually short lived. Whereas, although anxiety can certainly be intense it tends to be more subtle and may last for months or even years, because anxiety, almost always stems from an inner conflict of some type. This is the nature of anxiety.

    So, how can hypnotherapy help?

    Hypnosis can be a key tool for working with anxiety and fear. One of the most common fears that present to a hypnotherapist is ‘Fear of Flying’. This is probably because most people desire to take a holiday, and this often includes getting on a plane. So, hypnotherapists tend to receive many enquiries about overcoming the fear of flying. And it works for many people.

    Anxiety too, is something that is well suited to a talking therapy that utilises hypnosis.

    Life Trances

    One way at looking at anxiety states, is to view them as mini trances, because they include strong feelings that seem to rise from nowhere and are in themselves an altered state of consciousness. These feeling States can be activated by life events from the past and sometimes this can be outside conscious awareness. Moreover, from the view of the hypnotherapist it is more a case of de-hypnotising the client from the existing anxiety state. And this can be said for all problems that present themselves to a talking therapist.

    Take fear for example, if someone is struggling to get on a plane, they will be talking to themselves and creating images in their minds that are vastly different from someone who is comfortable with getting on a plane. So, through hypnosis a therapist can change how a person views their own inner world.

    Anxiety is a little more complex. As already mentioned, there may be a host of things to consider, such as difficult life decisions and choices.

     It might not be immediately obvious to the client where these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are coming from. It can appear vague and objectless. There may be feelings of helplessness and at times, uncertainly. It tends to attack on a much deeper level than fear.

    According to the great psychologist and author ‘Rollo May’ ‘Anxiety is the apprehension cued off by a threat to some value that the individual holds essential to his existence as personality’.

    Existential Threat

    Any existential threat to our being can be a pre- curser to anxiety. This includes things that at some point will affect most people’s lives, such as a perceived loss of freedom, or the threat of death. Anything that threatens our existence. As mentioned earlier, anxiety is a part of us, not something we get.

    So, to summarise, anxiety is not necessarily stronger than fear, it just tends to penetrate more deeply. It is more subtle, lingers and can be less obvious than something we fear.

    The good news: both respond well to talking therapies such as hypnotherapy. In addition, results can be achieved more quickly compared to general mainstream counselling.

    This offers hope for us all.

    Until next time!

  • Anxiety? Discover the Power of Radical Acceptance and Get back in Control of Your Life!

    Overweight woman looking in mirror

    Anxiety, Tension and Depression can seriously wreck your life.

    On the home page of my website…Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, Berkshire I share a true story about an accident I had back in 2018. It was a challenging time. For months I was stuck in my home with a horrible plastic neck brace wrapped around my neck. For months I was in severe pain. And the more I tried to fight it, the more suffering I had to endure. Discover more here…Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, Berkshire.

    Acceptance, a Tool to Combat Anxiety

    Acceptance is a strange concept. As a therapist, whenever I talk to my clients about the subject I meet with all sorts of resistance. For example, if someone wants to lose thirty pounds of fat, they really need to accept the fact that they are thirty pounds overweight. When people hear this, they say ‘Of course I accept it. I know I’m fat!’ However, there’s a significant difference between knowing and accepting. When we really get to the point that we accept our situation that’s when we can profoundly change! Up to that point, we really don’t want to accept what we don’t like.

    All the time we chose not to accept, something interesting happens : Nothing! We spend our time avoiding, distracting ourselves and making excuses. Moreover, when it comes to pain, we suffer mentally and physically more than we need to. When we choose to run away from problems in our lives, we suffer. And this suffering can easily transform into anxiety.

    Acceptance is Reality

    Here we are talking about reality. This doesn’t mean we should not take action to change things. It just means we naturally move towards change when we truly accept our condition, or situation. If for example, we get a diagnosis that says we have an incurable cancer we would be better off accepting this rather than not. If we refuse to accept it, we suffer more. Again, this doesn’t mean we have sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t mean we have to hide away and feel depressed. It just clears the way for making important decisions about how we want to live the rest of our lives.

    In the ancient philosophy of Buddhism acceptance means basing ourselves and not making judgments about what we like, or dislike. Sometimes we can’t always change things. Here is where ‘Radical acceptance’ comes to the fore. When we don’t accept, we find ourselves getting lost in ideas and fantasies about how things ‘should’ be or could have been.

    Again, acceptance does not mean inertia. As already stated, to be grounded in true reality opens the door to a true response. Sometimes we just need to put aside all assumptions and opinions and trust our inner self.

    Acceptance is our true Nature

    Acceptance and reality are the same thing. So, in a sense radical acceptance is the ultimate expression of reality.

    When we struggle to accept a situation, or condition in our lives we are, in a sense out of accord with nature, we become deluded. We get lost in fantasy. Dreams of how things should be. Here is where anxiety manifests itself. We experience a battle within. A battle that we have little chance of winning all the time we are choosing not to accept.

    Whether it’s chronic pain or being thirty pounds overweight, it the same kind of suffering that we must endure until we are able to practice acceptance, even in its most radical form. Radical meaning ‘Where our choices are limited’ as in the case of severe chronic pain or disability However, both forms create mental disturbance, a relentless anxiety that that deepens, eating away at the very core of the self.

    Choose to bring 10% more Acceptance into your Life each Day

    If we take a close look at acceptance, it’s a choice. Not always an easy choice, because it involves loosening our grip on our delusions. Our relentless desire to try and control our lives. The truth is, we all have little control over our lives when we take a closer look. This too we should accept. And to a point we all do. Most of us get on with our lives the best we can. Acceptance is also an awareness. We must have an awareness of what it is we need to accept.

    My Challenge to You

    I challenge you to bring 10% more acceptance into to your life each day, starting today. You can increase it gradually each week. Start off with 10%, then 15%, 20%… Start by accepting small things. Things that seem like inconvenient annoyances and work from there.

    Once you master these small changes move on to bigger things and before long you may notice your anxiety diminishing. And after a short while even radical acceptance doesn’t seem so radical anymore.

    This is food for thought. Acceptance isn’t an easy concept for most people to grasp. And putting it into practice can be even harder. Acceptance can penetrate many areas of our lives, the more radical the harder it is to accept, and this is a pre -curser for increased tension. However, with a little self – reflection and effort acceptance may become less radical.

    For further reading on Radical Acceptance check out this book by Tara Brach…https://www.amazon.co.uk/Radical-Acceptance-Awakening-Heals-Shame/dp/0712601457/ref=rvi_d_sccl_1/261-9109710-0587705?pd_rd_w=lKdLJ&content-id=amzn1.sym.d56e60fb-87bc-405a-a9

    Until next time!

  • What’s in a Label? – a Radically New Approach to Dealing with Mental Health!

    Image of label

    Labels are powerful. They Influence many areas of our lives, including our mental health.

    When we think of labels most people think of designer or job titles and labels that suggest prestige or success. However, here we are talking about a quite different type of label. A label that has the potential to take away an individual’s power.

    Sadly, most of us know someone who has been diagnosed with some form of mental illness. This may not necessary be what we perceive as a serious life-threatening condition. It is usually something more common such as ‘Depression or anxiety’. Although certainly not to be taken lightly these are mental health issues that have become commonplace in recent years.

    It’s all about Perspective

    From one perspective, being able to label a health problem or condition is useful. It helps the psychiatrist or psychologist to diagnose the presenting issue. And this can also give the patient some peace of mind. The patient knows what the problem is and gives a sense of acceptance or meaning, for a while anyway.

    From a different view point it, also in a sense, takes the power away from the patient. In other words, ‘If I have been diagnosed with depression, it’s not my fault that I struggle to go to work’. Or ‘Because I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder’ it makes sense that I will never feel comfortable in social settings.’ There are, of course, many examples that could fit within this framework.

    Moreover, we are increasingly witnessing this with children. Labels such as ‘Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder’ or ADHD as it is commonly known. And one concerning factor is that, in some cases, it’s the parents that make the decision that that’s what their child must be struggling with, partly because this condition is becoming increasingly common. As a result, so too is the label. This, along with the influence of the internet has become a breeding ground for people looking to label their issue. And this is understandable, it’s natural to search for an explanation for our pains.

    The Power Threat Meaning Framework

    The ‘Power Threat Meaning Framework’ is a welcome change in thinking in how professionals are beginning to approach mental health.

    Hers’s how it works…

    Rather than asking the question ‘what’s wrong with you’. This new approach asks, ‘What’s happened to you?’ It has been discovered that by focusing on the patient’s history, information can reveal what has happened to the patient that may have contributed to their presenting mental health problem. This puts the person in a much more resourceful position.

    There is currently work going on today towards helping patients, or clients to  become more resourceful. To be labelled ‘Clinically depressed’ is not very empowering. To some people they could receive the message as: ‘I have clinical depression’ so I’ll have to take medication for the rest of my life, I’ll just have to get used to it’. This, instead of helping the client or patient to become more resourceful, it takes away their personal power.

    The Conclusion

    So, ‘The Power threat Meaning Framework’ is a new concept that is positioned to helping patients/clients to become more resourceful and in a better position to take control of their mental health. It allows people to realise they are not just a label. There are options in how to respond. We could  look at how we can change our lifestyle or hear how others got free from the same problem. We are real people with choices and the freedom to look at our lives through a different lens if we choose to.

    Labels are useful, of course. We need to have some reference point to what is going on in our body and mind. And in addition, we shouldn’t have to surrender our own inner resources and limit ourselves to other viable options. We as adults have a responsibility to ourselves to explore more about how our problems are created and what role we can play in becoming whole and healthy again. One way of looking at a health problem is to view it as part of our life’s journey.

    Moreover, ‘The power threat meaning framework’ may just be one positive shift in thinking that we all need.

    If you would like to learn more, click here…https://www.amazon.co.uk/Straight-Talking-Introduction-Meaning-Framework/dp/1910919713/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3JOTF5NUQLGUK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8ZnW07XaO7FayLEQsbVO7z_gkGqjVd

    Until next time!

  • The Secrets to making Hypnotherapy work for You

    The Secrets to making Hypnotherapy work for You

    Continue reading…

    Many people , when searching for hypnotherapy in Wokingham want results, fast! This, of course, is natural. Most of us don’t have the time, or the money to invest in many hours of therapy. And why should we — ‘Life is short’.

    What I love about this work is watching people make positive changes, quickly, in their lives. We are not necessary talking about one, or two sessions here, although this certainly happens. We are talking, four, five, or even six sessions, but this is still considered, ‘Brief therapy’.

    Moreover, I personally love doing single session therapy. This is a process that normally takes a couple of hours. It’s powerful. Although, for some issues, more sessions are needed. But, compared to traditional psychotherapy and counselling, hypnotherapy is still a brief form of therapy.

    Now, getting back to the secret of ‘What makes it successful’.

    Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, the Secrets

    Most contemporary hypnotherapy is ‘Solution – focused’ orientated. This is how I work too. It’s powerful and it works. However, there is more to it…

    …In the past few years, increasing evidence point to what makes talking therapy successful.

    The answer really is simple. Let me give you a brief overview.

    Psychologist and psychotherapist Carl Rogers created ‘Person Centered Counselling’, back in the early 1940’s. It’s based on ‘Three core conditions, ‘Empathy, Congruence and Unconditional Positive Regard’. Rogers believed that when these three conditions are present, therapeutic  change would, over time, naturally occur. As the years have passed Roger’s findings have proven to be true, especially when combined with other models of psychotherapy and this includes hypnotherapy.

    Let me explain…

    Positive  Changes with Hypnotherapy

     Everyone would do better in therapy if they were understood. In other words, if the therapist could ‘step into the client’s shoes and understand them. ‘This is empathy’.

    And, from another perspective, no-one wants to feel like they are being judged by their therapist. The person wants to be accepted for who they are. This is ‘Unconditional Positive Regard’.

    In addition, no client wants, or needs a therapist who is a fake and not genuine. The therapist needs to be authentic. In other words, ‘Being congruent’.

    Without any of the above being present, it would be like trying to build a house on shaky foundations.

    The above may seem obvious, but it isn’t always how it is.

    So, therapists with a ‘Solution – Focussed hypnotherapy orientation’ are a good thing. Moreover, being ‘Person Centred’ is even better. It’s the foundation of every healthy therapeutic relationship.

    Furthermore, before choosing your therapist make a few calls. If possible, arrange a free consultation. Ask questions. ‘How long have they been in practice? What is their approach to hypnotherapy?

    Ask yourself, ‘Do I feel I can trust this person?’

    Hypnotherapy Testimonials

    Testimonials are powerful. They help both therapist and client. Testimonials help clients decide on what hypnotherapist to use. They also help the therapist get more business. There is, of course, nothing wrong with this. People want an experienced therapist who can help them, and the therapist needs to make a living.

    However, unfortunately, not all testimonials are authentic. They are, sometimes created to help a business get started, or worse, they are plain deceitful, created with the intention of helping people part with their hard-earned cash! ‘This problem has worsened over the years, mainly because of the growth of the internet.’ And as most people would agree, this is unethical. As a result of this, at least one main psychotherapy organisation now forbid the use of testimonials. They class them as unethical. I understand this and I agree with this philosophy, up to a point.

    Psychotherapy, including hypnotherapy in Wokingham, involves a high degree of privacy. Asking a client to write a testimonial and put their name to it is putting the client in a difficult position. They may feel that they can’t say no, so they agree. Some may be fine with this, but others may end up having future regrets about agreeing to it.

     Of course, most ‘Talking therapy’ testimonials are real. Well trained, ethical therapists would only use legitimate reviews. However, there are convincing arguments for whether they are ethical, or not.

    To Summarise:

    The main point here is, when choosing a hypnotherapist don’t rely on testimonials alone. There are several factors to consider: Talk to the therapist before deciding. Ask about their training and experience. What governing body, or bodies do they belong to? Are they ‘Person centred? And most important of all, do you feel comfortable that you can trust them to collaborate with you on your presenting problem. Different therapists are suited to different clients.

    Choosing the right therapist is a serious business. It’s an investment in yourself. So, choose wisely.

    Until next time.

  • Depression: How Hypnosis Can Help…

    Depression: How Hypnosis Can Help…

    Here in the U.K.? It is reported that 1 in 6 people suffer from some form of mood disorder. But, how can hypnosis and hypnotherapy help with overcoming depression?

    Depression is characterised as a mood disorder. Anybody who experiences moods can develop this problem, just as anyone who has a body can become ill.

    Moreover, depression is on the rise, but is it surprising when we consider all the challenges, we must face each day. We switch on the T.V. and we are bombarded with the threat of global war, high interest rates, food price increases and the list goes on.

    Why and How?

    However, there are specific factors that determine if someone is vulnerable to becoming depressed. Here’s a few of them…

    • How we think…
    • How we perceive life events…
    • Trauma…
    • Difficult childhood experiences…
    • Chronic health related problems…
    • Elevated levels of Perfectionism …
    • Poor coping skills…
    • Poor diet…
    • Chronic health issues
    • Lack of decision-making skills…

    One person’s path into depression is different to another’s. Just like one person’s path out of depression is different to somebody else’s. Anyone can get depressed. It’s just that people have diverse ways of doing it.

    The important thing to remember about depression is that there are several facets to it. Many people believe that it’s a biological disorder (there is truth to this ). As a result, the use of anti-depressants has been on the rise in recent years, but it is important to realise that psychological and social issues, by far, play the most significant roles in creating depression.

    The Process

     Rumination plays a key role in causing depression. Rumination involves spinning thoughts around in our heads. As an example: A narrative that begins with the words ‘What if’ usually finishes with some catastrophic outcome. We all do this sometimes, of course, but when it becomes a regular way of thinking we set ourselves up for potential problems. For some, this way of thinking may be part of their problem-solving strategy, ‘Albeit not a very useful one’.

     How we perceive what happens to us is another factor. We all respond differently to life events. If ten people were fired from their jobs, there could be many different responses. Some may tell themselves that they are a failure, or life is so unfair. A few might respond with, ‘What a relief, now I can go and find another job that I enjoy’. Another person might see it as an opportunity to take a break and travel the world.

    The point is, there are all sorts of ways people might respond to difficult and challenging life situations. These may be positive, or negative.

    Moreover, when it comes to depression there is no medication that will cure it, ‘nor will there ever be!’ This is because, the road to recovery involves learning new skills. These could be cognitive skills, or behaviour modification. And no amount of medication can help with this.

    Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy for Change

    What we focus on becomes amplified. Hypnosis is a key tool for doing this. A significant part of solving a problem is how much we can focus. A good example of this is weight control. Without focus it would be difficult to achieve a desired weight.

    Hypnosis is a powerful tool for developing focus. When a client is suffering from depression, hypnotherapy, along with other psychological strategies can be a highly effective therapeutic intervention.

    When a person is struggling with depression part of the reason, they find it difficult to recover is that they tend to make ‘Bad choices along the way. As an example, avoiding alcohol is crucial if a person is depressed. However, if a client is told ‘Stop drinking’ there is a strong chance, they won’t – BAD CHOICE!

    Hypnosis helps to influence behaviour, in a positive way.

    Along with other psychological strategies it can transform this debilitating mood disorder, fast, in many cases just a few sessions. This, of course, depends on many factors, everyone is different. It does this by focusing on how a person creates their depression and then using `their inner strengths to create positive change.

    To Summarise:

    Depression can be caused by many different things, social influences and psychological distress being the two most common culprits.

    Medication has its place. And as a short-term intervention, can be helpful. However, to create lasting changes, and to avoid relapse, new cognitive skills may be required, along with lifestyle adjustments.

    Hypnotherapy can dramatically help. It’s a powerful tool, when combined with other psychological approaches… In addition, it’s natural and gets to the core of what needs to be changed.

    One of my mentors, Dr Michael Yapko, wrote a wonderful book on the subject ‘Depression is Contagious‘. You can find it at Amazon.co.uk

    You may also find this talk by Michael…interesting…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVgQ_tgWMyU

    Until Next Time!

  • How to Lose Weight with Mindfulness

    How to Lose Weight with Mindfulness

    ‘Mindfulness’ is everywhere these days. Mindful walking, mindful cooking, mindful Yoga, and anything else that might require our full attention. In addition, Mindfulness now plays a key role in the treatment of anxiety and depression, when integrated with psychotherapeutic models such as ‘Cognitive Behaviour Therapy’ (CBT).In this post, we explore how to lose weight with Mindfulness.

    There have been several studies on the effects of Mindfulness as a tool to lose weight. Most of these studies involve mindful eating with an individualised eating plan. The results are mixed. However, it’s reasonable to say that most trials show a reduction in weight. This is most likely a result of the  self – awareness of feeling full. And the slower the eating pace the better this works, based on my experience.

    The Eating Trance

    Imagine, you are walking through your local shopping centre. You are focused on all the interesting shops and people around you. Then suddenly you notice a big sign that says, EAT NOW! You don’t pay too much attention to it (consciously), but you acknowledge it. Then, surprise! You think to yourself, I’m hungry! And you go and eat. You are in an eating trance! This is how advertising works. It’s interesting because many people think advertising  doesn’t work, but of course, it does!

    The Power of Influence

    When we are repeatedly exposed to marketing messages. influence is strong. Call it hypnosis!

    Moreover, we also play a part in this influence. We talk to ourselves about ‘what we desire to eat, how it would taste and smell, we picture it and imagine how we would feel while eating it.

    We become ‘unaware’ of our true hunger signals.

    Mindfulness to the rescue

    When we are present, we are free from the eating trance. We are fully in the moment and aware. We become liberated from compulsive eating, and uncontrollable desires. Tuning into our natural hunger signals becomes easier. We can work out if we are truly hungry, or eating because we are stressed, or bored.

    In addition, ‘Mindfulness’ helps us in many other areas that are related to weight control. We enjoy our food more because we get time to taste it. We eat less, because we become more aware of when our stomach is full and additionally, we benefit from better digestion.

     Compassion

    However, there is a slight problem with how Mindfulness is taught here in the west. All too often, it gets stripped of its true Buddhist roots. Perhaps, we are not yet ready here in our western culture, to embrace anything that is considered ‘too Buddhist.’

    But, on a more positive note…

    In one study, two groups of meditators committed to six weeks of mindfulness training. The goal was to lose weight. Both groups also followed an individually controlled diet plan, but one group made better progress than the other. The more successful group included ancient Buddhist compassion centred interventions into their daily routine. This consisted of ‘Loving Kindness meditation’ and a short self -compassion induction. The result, they lost more weight!

    To Conclude:

    It appears that when we cultivate more compassion, we stay more focused and happier in ourselves. And when we are happier in ourselves we tend to do better in our daily lives. Also, when we add focus to what we plan to do, it’s a powerful combination.

    Moreover, Mindfulness along with compassion centered interventions could be a winning formula for achieving lasting weight control. Read more on the subject here…

    https://pure.port.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/3015132/Exploring_mindfulness_and_mindfulness_with_self_compassion.pdf

    Until next time!

  • How Just One Simple Change in Your Thinking can make You 100% Happier and Healthier!

    How Just One Simple Change in Your Thinking can make You 100% Happier and Healthier!

    This could be the most important article I’ve ever written…

    …here’s why…

    I’ve recently discovered how a vast amount people make themselves anxious, sad, and depressed.

    It’s NOT lack of money. And it’s NOT being in a job you hate. It really is, much, much, more simple than that. And when I tell you, you’ll be stunned! Because, it’s such an obvious thing.

    One Simple Change in Your Thinking can make You Happier and Healthier!

    And you’ll be pleased to know that you can make yourself HAPPIER—IMMEDIATELY once you have the secret. You’ll instantly feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You find you’ll be able to focus on what YOU want. You won’t be re-active to the actions of other people any more.

    You’ll be FREE—and in control of your life again.

    In fact, I’m 100% sure that if you were to make this quick and easy change today, you’d get rid of 80% of your daily stress.

    Just imagine, you’re feeling stressed and anxious. You’re not sure why. Then all of a sudden, you remember the secret. You make one tiny shift in your thinking, and then to your amazement, you relax…you feel at ease…and it seems like you don’t have a care in the world. You changed your life!

    The Secret

    Okay, I’ll put you out of your misery. ALL UNHAPPINESS IS CAUSED BY COMPARISION.

    Before I explain, here’s a question: Are you in the habit of comparing yourself with others? If the answer is yes, then you’re probably making yourself more unhappy than you need to.

    So what do I mean by comparison?

    Here are a few examples:

    “Why does Bill make more money than me? He’s in the same business as I am”

    Or, “Why is my figure not like Susan’s, I go to the gym just as much as her.” Or “All our friends have BIGGER houses than us— we’ve got to move.”

    I’m sure most of us have had this kind of internal dialogue going on inside our heads at some time or another. But, when it becomes a habit, that’s when anxiety and unhappiness creeps in.

    The curse of comparison

    So now you know what I believe to be the no.1 reason we make ourselves anxious and miserable. Of course, I didn’t invent this idea, much has been written over the centuries about this subject. It’s just that now more than ever before, people tend to make themselves miserable with this negative way of thinking.

    So, next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, just STOP, BACK UP, and remind yourself that it’s not about what others have got, it’s about what you have, and what you want to achieve in life. It doesn’t matter what everyone else has or what everyone does, it’s about YOU and your life.

    Try it. Remember, just one simple change in your thinking can make you happier – and healthier!

    Until next time!