Anxiety, Tension and Depression can seriously wreck your life.
On the home page of my website…Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, Berkshire I share a true story about an accident I had back in 2018. It was a challenging time. For months I was stuck in my home with a horrible plastic neck brace wrapped around my neck. For months I was in severe pain. And the more I tried to fight it, the more suffering I had to endure. Discover more here…Hypnotherapy in Wokingham, Berkshire.
Acceptance, a Tool to Combat Anxiety
Acceptance is a strange concept. As a therapist, whenever I talk to my clients about the subject I meet with all sorts of resistance. For example, if someone wants to lose thirty pounds of fat, they really need to accept the fact that they are thirty pounds overweight. When people hear this, they say ‘Of course I accept it. I know I’m fat!’ However, there’s a significant difference between knowing and accepting. When we really get to the point that we accept our situation that’s when we can profoundly change! Up to that point, we really don’t want to accept what we don’t like.
All the time we chose not to accept, something interesting happens : Nothing! We spend our time avoiding, distracting ourselves and making excuses. Moreover, when it comes to pain, we suffer mentally and physically more than we need to. When we choose to run away from problems in our lives, we suffer. And this suffering can easily transform into anxiety.
Acceptance is Reality
Here we are talking about reality. This doesn’t mean we should not take action to change things. It just means we naturally move towards change when we truly accept our condition, or situation. If for example, we get a diagnosis that says we have an incurable cancer we would be better off accepting this rather than not. If we refuse to accept it, we suffer more. Again, this doesn’t mean we have sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t mean we have to hide away and feel depressed. It just clears the way for making important decisions about how we want to live the rest of our lives.
In the ancient philosophy of Buddhism acceptance means basing ourselves and not making judgments about what we like, or dislike. Sometimes we can’t always change things. Here is where ‘Radical acceptance’ comes to the fore. When we don’t accept, we find ourselves getting lost in ideas and fantasies about how things ‘should’ be or could have been.
Again, acceptance does not mean inertia. As already stated, to be grounded in true reality opens the door to a true response. Sometimes we just need to put aside all assumptions and opinions and trust our inner self.
Acceptance is our true Nature
Acceptance and reality are the same thing. So, in a sense radical acceptance is the ultimate expression of reality.
When we struggle to accept a situation, or condition in our lives we are, in a sense out of accord with nature, we become deluded. We get lost in fantasy. Dreams of how things should be. Here is where anxiety manifests itself. We experience a battle within. A battle that we have little chance of winning all the time we are choosing not to accept.
Whether it’s chronic pain or being thirty pounds overweight, it the same kind of suffering that we must endure until we are able to practice acceptance, even in its most radical form. Radical meaning ‘Where our choices are limited’ as in the case of severe chronic pain or disability However, both forms create mental disturbance, a relentless anxiety that that deepens, eating away at the very core of the self.
Choose to bring 10% more Acceptance into your Life each Day
If we take a close look at acceptance, it’s a choice. Not always an easy choice, because it involves loosening our grip on our delusions. Our relentless desire to try and control our lives. The truth is, we all have little control over our lives when we take a closer look. This too we should accept. And to a point we all do. Most of us get on with our lives the best we can. Acceptance is also an awareness. We must have an awareness of what it is we need to accept.
My Challenge to You
I challenge you to bring 10% more acceptance into to your life each day, starting today. You can increase it gradually each week. Start off with 10%, then 15%, 20%… Start by accepting small things. Things that seem like inconvenient annoyances and work from there.
Once you master these small changes move on to bigger things and before long you may notice your anxiety diminishing. And after a short while even radical acceptance doesn’t seem so radical anymore.
This is food for thought. Acceptance isn’t an easy concept for most people to grasp. And putting it into practice can be even harder. Acceptance can penetrate many areas of our lives, the more radical the harder it is to accept, and this is a pre -curser for increased tension. However, with a little self – reflection and effort acceptance may become less radical.
For further reading on Radical Acceptance check out this book by Tara Brach…https://www.amazon.co.uk/Radical-Acceptance-Awakening-Heals-Shame/dp/0712601457/ref=rvi_d_sccl_1/261-9109710-0587705?pd_rd_w=lKdLJ&content-id=amzn1.sym.d56e60fb-87bc-405a-a9
Until next time!